One Day, One Life
by Krystiana
Summary: A depressing, dark story, taking an old idea and giving it a few new twists.


One Day, One Life   
by Krystiana   
kbrannan@raex.com 

* * *

  


I don't own Digimon, and I probably never will. So sue me. 

Um... actually - don't. Really. 

Warnings: one little swear word that I don't even consider a swear word, full use of Japanese names, minor use of Japanese vocabulary, possible tear-jerker 

Notes: This WOULD take place during Digimon 02, if that were to happen in my world. I do make some references to Digimon 02 in my fic, but it is NOT the world of the second season. If you've seen the first season, you shouldn't be confused one little bit. 

* * *

  


There was absolutely no way I was giving up this game - especially to Daisuke. He was already competing with me for Hikari, and winning. There was no chance that he was going to beat me in this, too - a one on one game of basketball. 

He was right behind me, but I was faster. I had longer legs and more speed. I was also more agile, and generally a better player than him. I stopped running and put both hands on the ball I had just been dribbling. 

Three points. Just one basket from where I was standing. I bent my knees, getting ready to shoot... 

**WHAM!!**

I fell to the ground, my chin scraping and sliding along the cement. The ball went flying to someplace unknown, and I felt a great weight land on my back with a thump, and heard a slight groan that didn't come from me. 

Daisuke. 

I narrowed my eyes, a low growl starting in the bottom of my throat. "Daisuke," I began, making a few feeble attempts at moving. 

"Are you two okay?" I looked up at Hikari, who's wide eyes were staring down at us in concern. "That was a nasty looking fall." 

"Don't I know it," I muttered as Daisuke rolled off of my back. 

"I'm really sorry, Takeru," Daisuke said, offering a hand to help me up. 

"You're a mess, Takeru," Hikari observed. I then realized I was bleeding. 

"Well, I'm close to 'tousan's apartment," I said. "Somebody should be home." 

"We'll walk you there," Daisuke said. 

"Fine." I grabbed my backpack and basketball and started walking. 

When we got there, I walked up to the door and tried the knob, resisting the urge to knock. It was my 'tousan's house... why wouldn't I be welcome? 

To my relief, the door was unlocked. I waved to Hikari and Daisuke, feeling strangely jealous that they were walking home together. I walked inside and shut the door. 

"Hey, Takeru-kun!" 

I looked over to the kitchen, where I spied Yusuke, a friend of my brother's, and the drummer in his band. 

"Hello, Yusuke-san," I greeted. "Is anyone home?" 

"Yeah. Your brother is in his room getting a few of his pedals for the practice. Your 'tousan is... somewhere." He looked closely at my face, then winced. "What did you do?" 

"I fell." 

"You fell?" Tousan's voice came from the hallway. I looked over and saw him studying my face. "That's from falling?" 

"Actually... more like being run into from behind. The basketball court isn't a pillow," I said. "I was close by... so I figured I'd stop in to clean up." 

"You weren't fighting?" 

I blinked. "No... why would I be fighting?" 

'Tousan smiled. "I'm just remembering. When Yamato was your age and he came home bleeding, it would be from getting into fights." 

A cough from behind 'tousan made him turn. Yamato stood there, holding a box. I suddenly realized I hadn't seen him in over two weeks... and a lot could change in two weeks. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair looked unkempt. He looked... worn. "Let's go, Yusuke." 

"You're not staying for dinner?" 'Tousan questioned as Yamato passed him without giving him as much as a glance. 

"I'm not hungry." 

As the door slammed, 'tousan blinked and turned to me. "How about you? You want to stay for dinner?" 

"Sure!" 

As 'tousan went to the kitchen to see what was available to eat and I went to the bathroom to clean up my face, I thought about my brother. Yamato hadn't looked like himself. There was no brightness in his eyes, and his voice sounded dead. He was probably just in another one of his fits of depression... but it still concerned me. 

Oh, well. I'd talk to him about it later. After all... I could be the big brother, too - sometimes.   


* * *   


I bid Taichi farewell and turned to walk towards my apartment with a heavy heart. It hadn't been a very good day. My mother was angry at me, for some reason. It happened rarely these days, but when it did, it disturbed me. 

I didn't realize I was looking down at my shoes as I walked until someone ran into me. Neither of us fell, but I still immediately bowed and apologized. "Gomen!" 

I looked up to see who it was, and spotted a face that was very familiar to me... but didn't look familiar at all. Yamato. 

"Sora." 

I greeted him with a smile. "Hi, Yamato! I haven't seen you in a while!" 

"Nope." 

"How are you?" 

"Fine." 

I glanced to his side. The drummer in his band, Yusuke, was standing next to him. That explained what Yamato was doing over here - Yusuke lived a few doors down from Taichi. "Are you guys going to practice?" 

"Yeah." 

Something about his one word answers disturbed me. His appearance didn't look very good, either. His eyes weren't at all bright, and the black collared shirt he was wearing didn't do much for his complexion. He looked pale and overly tired. 

"You want to come listen?" Yusuke's invitation surprised me. He hardly spoke to any of us unless spoken to, aside from Takeru or Hikari. I think he felt intimidated. 

"Sure!" I accepted the invitation with grace, smiling. "I would love to hear you guys play." I hadn't heard them yet. 

I joined the two and we walked towards Yusuke's house. I learned we were picking up the few parts of his drumset that he had there, then heading to the guitarist's house for the actual practice. Yamato was silent the entire walk. 

I sat in a couch slightly away from the band to avoid the full blast of the amps. They sounded great. Yamato was just as good on the bass as he was on the harmonica, if not better. I was especially impressed with Yamato's voice. It was powerful and commanding, yet not overbearing. However, it sounded... pained. I wasn't sure if this had to do with the lyrics they were singing or if it was Yamato himself. 

They went through about ten songs, doing a few more than once, then ended the practice. As they were packing up, Yusuke walked up to me and drew me aside. 

"You've known Yamato longer than me," he said. "He's been acting funny lately, and I was wondering-" 

"If I noticed?" I said, glancing towards Yamato as he wound up a few cords. "Yes. I have." 

"He sounds very sad when he's singing, and each practice it gets worse." Yusuke followed my gaze. 

"He doesn't usually sound like that?" I asked, slightly surprised. "Well, he gets a little depressed sometimes, but he's never looked so tired out as he does now." 

"I don't think he's sleeping at night," Yusuke said. "I'm getting worried." 

"I can talk to him about it, if you'd like," I offered. 

"Can you?" Yusuke smiled at me. "Arigatou gozaimaz, Sora-san." 

"It's not a problem," I said. "I'll wait outside for him." I turned to leave. "You guys sound good, by the way." 

Yusuke grinned. "I know." 

I laughed and left.   


* * *   


Damn exams. Damn education. Who needs it, anyway? I struggled to carry all of my books as I exited the cram school with a strange sense of non-accomplishment. Three hours of pure studying with an insane teacher breathing down your neck was not my idea of getting ready for the high school entrance exams. 

A shuffling from an alley startled me, and chills ran down my spine. I hid, despite myself. It was Tokyo, after all - anything could be hiding in the alley. 

I was surprised to see Yamato close the back door to someone's house, carrying a guitar-shaped case. That must be it - the drummer of his band - Yusuke something-or-other - lived in this area. That must be his house. 

I was about to call out to him, but the sad and angry expression I saw on his face stopped me from doing so. He definitely looked like he didn't want anyone coming up to him and asking "are you okay?" Or for that matter, he didn't look like he wanted anyone coming up to him, period. 

I stayed in my spot in the shadows until Yamato was out of sight. I slid out and stared in the direction he had gone. That was slightly concerning. I knew Yamato was not a happy-go-lucky guy, but he had never been really depressed. Maybe it had been a bad practice. 

I shrugged and continued walking. As I turned the corner, I spotted another familiar face. This one looked safe to greet. "Sora!" I said, waving. 

"Jyou!" she said, grinning. "Hi!" 

"What are you doing here?" I asked. 

"Waiting for Yamato to come out of practice... I need to talk to him." 

I winced inwardly. "Yamato left. I saw him go out the back door." 

"What?!" she exclaimed. "Oh, shoot." 

"Was it a bad practice or something? He didn't look too happy," I stated. 

"That's what I wanted to talk to him about." 

"A bad practice?" 

"Oh?" 

"Yeah. Yusuke said he was concerned about him, so I offered to talk to him." She sighed. "I'll call him when I get home. I should probably get going now. It's going to be dark soon." 

"Yeah. I'll walk with you. We're going in the same direction." I grinned at her. 

Even though we were both concerned about Yamato, our conversation quickly turned to older, happier times.   


* * *   


My laptop clicked as I ejected the disk, then shut it. Upgrading the memory in an outdated computer like mine wasn't easy, but I had finally done it. I sat back with a sense of satisfaction. 

I glanced outside, surprised to see how dark it had gotten. I had lost track of time awful fast. My parents would probably be worried by now, except they HAD gotten used to my staying after at the school nearly every day. Still... no use worrying them any more than necessary. And running actually sounded nice after sitting down for so long. I quickly packed all my things up and headed out the door. 

Sprinting wasn't something I did often, but I was planning on running all the way home. It wasn't exactly a twenty mile run, but it wasn't short, either. I decided to stretch out before heading out. This "jog" was for my own enjoyment, but I didn't want to injure myself. 

I was just about to take off when Yamato walked around the corner. 

"Yamato!" I exclaimed, grinning. "Hey!" 

Yamato glanced up at me. "Hi, Koushiro." His voice sounded flat and dead. He didn't look like he was in the best of health, either. The smile that appeared on his face looked forced. 

"Something wrong?" 

"No." 

I decided not to pry. Yamato wasn't one too blurt all his problems out, anyway. Letting him be would probably be the best thing to do right now. "I'd like to stick around and talk, Yamato," I said. "But I'm really late getting home." I walked past him, then turned back and smiled. "We'll get together with the rest of the group later, right?" 

His smile was definitely forced this time. "Right." 

"Seeya!" I turned and ran towards my home. 

Yamato... there's something wrong, isn't there? Well, I probably wasn't the best choice to talk to him about whatever his problem was. I'd ask one of the others about it tomorrow.   


* * *   


I walked out of the studio humming the main theme to the play I was performing in. Ever since we had gotten back from out "trip," I had been concentrating more and more on singing. Yamato's musical talent had probably been the main inspiration to pick up singing again. It was a way to express myself, and I enjoyed it a lot. 

And, boy, was I surprised to see the source of my inspiration walk around the corner. "Yama-chan!!!" I squeeled, ignoring his wince. "Hi!!" 

He smiled at me - although his smile looked awful phony - and greeted me in a strange tone of voice. "Mimi. Hello." 

"Was it something I did?" I immediately asked, wondering about his less-than-cheerful demeanor he was wearing. 

The slight chuckle wasn't forced, although it did sound sad. "No. I'm just... not having a good day." 

"Oh, you aren't?" I clasped my hands together in front of me, looking at him with wide eyes. 

Yamato stared at me, then started laughing. It sounded... amused. He was actually amused at something. 

Amused at ME!! 

"What's so funny?" I demanded, crossing my arms. 

"Your hair," he said, stopping his laughter, but still smiling. "It's pink." 

"Aren't you the observant one!" I hissed. "You... you..." 

"I what?" His smile was still there. 

"You JERK!!" 

His smile didn't falter, but something in his eyes did. He shrugged and began walking past me. "Sorry. I've gotta go." He turned and left. 

I stood in slight shock for a moment before turning towards him. "I wasn't serious!" I shouted at his retreating back. 

He didn't answer me.   


* * *   


I resisted the urge to shout one of the many swear words my brother often used when I realized my books weren't sitting on my desk as they should have been. I had left them in Takeru's backpack. 

I walked out of my room to use the phone to call Takeru, but saw my brother on the phone. 

"Well, at least one of his friends care enough about him to be concerned about it, Sora," Taichi was saying. He paused. "I wouldn't worry about it. Yamato acts like that sometimes, remember?" 

"Oniichan, I really need the phone," I said. Taichi looked at me and nodded, holding up a finger as a sign for me to wait. 

"Right. I'll see you tomorrow, Sora. Ja." He hung up and turned to me. "All yours, Hikari." 

"Domo," I said, picking up the phone and dialing Takeru's number. 

"Moshi moshi!" Takeru's 'kaasan's voice was cheerful as she answered the phone. 

"Can I speak to Takeru?" I asked. 

"Oh... Hikari? He's still at his 'tousan's house," she replied. 

"He is? All right. Arigatou. Ja ne." I hung up the phone and immediately called the Ishida house. 

The line was busy. I blinked in confusion, hung up, and dialed again. Still busy. I hung up once again, and turned to my brother. 

"I'm going over to Yamato's house. Takeru has my books, and I really need them." 

Taichi thought about it for a moment. "You want me to go with you?" 

"It's all right. It's not far." I headed towards the door and put on my outdoor shoes. "I'll be back in about fifteen minutes." 

"Be careful," Taichi said as I walked out. 

"I will," I promised, then shut the door. 

The night was cool, but not uncomfortable. It was a nice walk, and left me time to think about Daisuke and Takeru. 

When I finally reached the Ishida apartment, I reached up and knocked on the door. I didn't recieve and answer, but I heard music playing loudly inside. Most likely, it was Yamato's stereo. No one would be able to hear me knocking with that noise. I tried the door and found it unlocked. 

The amount of sound the door kept back was astounding. I physically winced as the music hit me in my face. "HELLO?" I shouted, removing my shoes and walking into the apartment. I looked into the living room, where the stereo was. 

The phone was off the hook. That was strange... 

"Hikari?" 

I turned and saw Yamato walk in from the kitchen. His sleeves were rolled up and he was holding a knife in his right hand. Something about his expression frightened me. 

"Is... is Takeru still here?" I asked uncertainly. 

"No. 'Tousan left to take him home." 

"He left? All right... I'll just get my books tomorrow." I turned towards the door to leave. "I'll see you later, Yamato-san." I put my shoes back on and walked out the door, shutting it quietly. 

I wasn't as concerned about my books as I had been before. For some reason, I found myself concerned about Yamato. I stood by the door for a moment longer before taking a step to leave. 

I heard the click of a lock come from the door behind me. 

With that click, it clicked in my mind. 

Yamato... _no_... 

"NO!" I shouted, turning back towards the door. "YAMATO-SAN!!" I began pounding on the door with all my might, tears beginning to run down my face. "YAMATO-SAN!!! DON'T DO ANYTHING!!" A few doors down the hall opened to see what all the racket was. I ignored them and continued to pound on the door. "YAMATO-SAN!! OPEN THE DOOR! PLEASE!!! YAMATO-SAN!!" The music inside the Ishida apartment seemed to suddenly get twice as loud, drowning out my screams of protest. 

"**YAMATO**!!!!!"   


* * *   


"Taichi, please stop pacing." Sora's voice was calm. It sounded much calmer than any of us felt. 

I opened my mouth to say something, but stopped and continued my trudge to the other side of the waiting room. I didn't trust myself to say anything just them. 

Yamato... 

I couldn't believe it. My mind was refusing to accept it. 

He had tried to kill himself. 

I kept asking myself why. "How could he do that to us?" I whispered to the wall, inaudible to everyone except me. "Suicide... it's selfish. You weren't thinking about your friends, were you, Yamato? What about your brother?" I was mad at him, but I couldn't stay that way. I was mostly mad at myself. 

The words "I wouldn't worry about it" had come from MY mouth. All of us should have been worried about it. And, from talking with the others, I found that they HAD been worried about it. I was the only one who wasn't. I had just gotten so used to Yamato's fits of depression that they became a part of everyday life. But this one was... different. Or maybe it was the same, and he hadn't pulled through this one. 

God, I was confusing myself. I was already confused enough by Yamato's actions. 

He'd be okay. He had to be. The ambulance had gotten him to hospital in time, hadn't they? We had gotten through every crisis in the other world... he'd get through this. And after he's recovered physically, we'd help him recover mentally. He needs our help for that. We're his friends. Yusuke could help with that, too. It was obvious that he cared about Yamato, too. Yamato WOULD be back to his old self... and even better than before. He'd be the old Yamato, harmonica-slash-bass playing machine, the overprotective big brother to Takeru, back to arguing with me about stupid things - our arguements were stupid, but they could be fun, sometimes, too... 

I looked up as Yamato's father walked into the waiting room. My thoughts stopped running back and forth through my mind and I froze for a solid second before saying anything. "Ishida-san?" I asked, hesitating. 

He didn't say anything for a moment, and he looked blankly at the wall. Takeru stood up from the seat he'd been sitting in. "'Tousan?" he questioned, biting his lip. "Is Yamato going to be okay?" 

Ishida looked down at his youngest son, and suddenly drew him into a hug. "Oh, Takeru," he whispered. "Yamato is dead." 

Everything stopped. I heard gasps come from everyone else, and I saw Takeru's expression - that had been the hardest to deal with. But after that, I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't see anything. I only heard that sentence running through my mind over and over again. 

Yamato is dead. 

I collapsed to my knees, trying to get a handle on my breathing. It wasn't... it wasn't FAIR! I didn't even get to say goodbye! He was just... gone. Yamato was... he couldn't be - it just couldn't be true! Yamato was dead. 

**DEAD**! 

I expected to feel his hand on my shoulder, comforting me, telling me he wasn't dead and it had been one giant joke. NOT a funny joke! Stupid Yamato - it would be just like him to do something like that. Where was he? Why wasn't he here? Yamato! 

Yamato... is... 

I shook my head, faintly aware of two nurses helping me to my feet and guiding me to a chair. They were helping me - why weren't they helping Yamato? 

... _dead_. 

I began shaking, and my eyes began burning. As tears began running down my cheeks, I buried my face in my hands. 

Yamato - you were my greatest friend. You knew how to keep me in check. You were always there for me. And we were there for you. We still are here for you, wherever you are. 

All you have to do is look. 

_Yamato_.   
  


-end-   


* * *

  


I can hear your brains scratching at the wood, wondering why I wrote this. Well, it was mostly a challenge to myself. I wanted to write another one of those suicidal Yamato fics, but I wanted to make it different from all the others. All the ones I've seen have been from the point of view of Yamato, as well as Yamato surviving. I also felt like dealing the kids a taste of real life. I'm not entirely happy with the way this one turned out, so I may go back and rewrite it. I may actually do ANOTHER version of this story, from the point of view of Yamato (in addition, not instead of). Should I? Or would it just turn out to be another suicidal Yamato fic? Hmm.... 

Tell me what you thought of it! Please! I want feedback. Flame me, if you must - although it's preferable if you've got something useful to say. I just want to know that someone actually read it. 


End file.
